A big hug from God

'It's like receiving a big hug from God" says my friend R. This comment was prompted by my explanation of how Allah is just there for me. How recent events have answered many of my queries and how things have just been solved by Him. Verily after hardship comes ease.

Jumah khutbas, a series of online talks I've listened to and the last edition of SISTERS magazine made me happy. From the topic of the power of duas, to preparing for death, to the happiness solution, I've had answers to many of my doubts. My mind plays games with me and the whispers of Shaytan often lead me to the 'what ifs', i'if only' but khair...everything is due to Allah (swt) and whether we understand the wisdom of His decree or not, we accept it.

Speaking of SISTERS magazine, it's my firts time reading it and it was enjoyable. I specifically loved the article on the greates women of paradise: Mariam, Asiya, Khadidja and Fatima, may Allah (swt) be bleased with all of them and enable us to follow their example. The article did not describe them but emphasized on the qualities they had that made them the chosen ones by Allah. Mash'Allah, from affirming the truth, having qunoot, being courageous, supporting their husbands, to being optimistic, having tawakul and having zud. mash'Allah, mash'Allah, mash'Allah. These women were patient and grateful in good and dificult times. I know I have a lot to learn.

What strikes me if how forgetful I am. I mean I was re-listening to a few talks I had downloaded and some of them it seemed like I was hearing them for the first time. While others, some parts were familiar and other parts spoke more to me. This just shows of how we must continuously learn and be reminded of our purpose here.

Yesterday made me realize how little I know and how much I need to increase in knowledge and act upon his knowledge. It's a bit scary to know that one has all the means to be rigtheous yet is not so. The nafs, oh nafs, do not precipitate us to the fire. The other daunting thing is the whole intention behind every action. It puzzles me as I'm a bit scared of not having pure intention for the sake of Allah for all of my deeds or not having any intention at all.
I'm also yearning to get back to my Arabic. I'm forgetting the little I knew although I'm still able to get the gist of some things, alhamdulilah.